BUILDING BOYS GET SAD TOO

Kyle Stanger's journey into the world of fashion and mental health advocacy is just as unconventional as it is inspiring.

Reflecting on his beginnings, the designer and creator recalls, "I started the brand in 2018. Before that, I was modelling and had done some acting when I was a kid. When I left sixth form, I was signed by a fashion agency and did a lot of work in the sportswear space. Obviously at one point in time, when I had finally decided what I wanted to do, I had developed this sort of arrogance that I’d picked up from my time in modelling and behind the scenes. I didn’t think launching a brand would be really hard to do, in all honesty."

But it was personal experiences that truly propelled Kyle towards founding Boys Get Sad Too. "In terms of my personal connection, my dad had clinical depression when I was growing up," Kyle shares.

It was during his late teens that Kyle began to grasp the impact of mental health. "I realized what I had experienced wasn’t something that a lot of people had dealt with," he reflects. "I was given counselling at an early age, and even though I felt there was no stigma around me talking about my own mental health, mainly because my dad had gone through every type of therapy under the sun, what I couldn’t understand was the stigma that everyone else felt around the topic."

The pivotal moment came during a poignant personal encounter. "My next door neighbor's nephew took his own life, and other people close to me were also struggling," Kyle reveals. "There was a night where I wanted to message the lady living next door to me, and I remember wanting to say how sorry I was to hear the news. It was this moment where I realized I couldn’t continue. I started the message saying that I had wished there was something I could have done to help, but it feels pretty empty when you realize there isn’t anything that you can actually do."

Inspiration struck unexpectedly in a McDonald's, of all places. "I was wearing a Liverpool top and I remember an elderly gentleman tapped me on the back and began talking to me about the game," Kyle reminisces.

"It got me thinking about how fashion really can build a community, and how much people want to be a part of something. It was something that I really wanted to replicate in the mental health space."

Thus, Boys Get Sad Too was born. "There was no research. I’d gone back to a journal that I had during my counseling days, where I had written the phrase Boys Get Sad Too," Kyle explains. "I felt this completely encapsulated what I felt at the time and summed up where I was in my life."

The early days were a testament to Kyle's determination. "When I launched the brand, I never gave it too much thought," he admits. "I basically did a load of pre-sales, and used the money that I got to complete the first lot of orders. There was never any brainstorming. I guess there was maybe a little bit of arrogance, but in a good way. I posted the first tee on Facebook and got seven or eight orders in the first few days. There was very little traction in the first two years."

"I think that it shouldn't be something that people feel embarrassed to talk about," Kyle says. "And by getting people to wear it on their chest with pride, it takes away some of that awkwardness."

Storytelling lies at the heart of Kyle's brand. "It’s an interesting one," Kyle muses. "Mainly because I don’t have a fashion background, but I am really happy and proud with how the brand has turned out. At the beginning, the storytelling was all it was. When you boil it down, what we had was a screen-printed T-shirt made with something I’d written on a notepad. The garment wasn’t anything revolutionary, but the story behind it was appealing."

Kyle believes fashion can profoundly impact mental health advocacy. "Fashion, what you wear and the conversation it sparks can be a really effective way to try and change the way that people feel about things," he asserts. "I mean, it isn't going to change the world overnight, but what you put on yourself and how you decide to dress has a huge impact on how you behave and represent yourself. If you can represent a mental health-related message and also wear something you like and support, I think that any message will have an impact if enough people get behind it."

The wider picture is important for Boys Get Sad Too. "We are supporting UK businesses, charities, and so much more. I think that fashion brands in the UK probably put a lot of money into the economy at a minimum level. Then there's everything else that comes with it. It promotes people to go out there and make an impact," says Kyle. 

Regarding the influence of Boys Get Sad Too on the fashion industry, Kyle reflects: "I think there always have been brands that do what we do. But from what I see on social media, I think they find it really hard to do it in a way that appeals to both sides. At the end of the day, how many brands spring up and go on to hit 122k on Instagram? Not many. The percentage is miniscule. People give up, they realize they are not going to be able to pay themselves, and they don't have a passion for really doing it. It's very difficult to get the right messaging and have a meaning."

Kyle tries to have conversations and lend as much support as he can to other brands that try and support mental health. "Ultimately there are loads of brands that do it but only a couple that push through," he explains. "When we started Boys Get Sad Too, I was unpaid, worked for free for over two years, and essentially ran the brand with my mum from my house. I was modelling and trying to make this work in my spare time. I worked full-time and worked on the brand at the weekends for enjoyment. I said no to going to the pub or on holiday because I knew I had to make the sacrifices to get the brand off the ground."

Kyle addresses the balance between productivity and well-being in a fast-paced world. 

For all its resonance and wide appeal, the brand has had its share of critics and detractors. "I think the name of the brand is the thing that people connect with most. We’ve had critics and trolls that have said that we're belittling them by using the term boys. I mean, if we did launch a Men Get Sad Too line I am pretty sure plenty of people would buy it," Kyle muses. "However, I feel it just feeds into a sense of insecurity. In day-to-day life you don't say, 'I’m going out for a drink with the men.' So in that context it's totally acceptable to use the term boys. No one is taking offense."

Kyle is no stranger to that feeling of insecurity. "For me, it was when I went to counseling. I lived with my mum, dad and two sisters, and it was the idea that if someone broke in then I would be expected to protect the household – being the man of the house," he recalls. "I was constantly questioning why I didn’t feel like a man. But I quickly realized that no one was telling me to fight the imagingery robber, despite what everyone was telling me. In my head I’d let societal expectations be the thing that I graded myself on. I wasn’t thinking about grading myself on my kindness, compassion, and consideration for others." 

While the brand began with unremarkable screen-printed garments, now they're in a place where they can work with designers, offer a budget, and provide a clear creative direction. "If we go back to the start, it was really about doing what I was able to do on a personal level and making it work," Kyle shares. "But I think the most important thing that I love, and I know our community loves, is being as bold as possible on as much stuff as possible. To be honest with you, our supporter base love the pieces that say Boys Get Sad Too as blatantly as possible on every single piece. We are still in our early days, we’re always testing different pieces, and seeing how people react. However, we have a lot more support from other members of staff, and skills, to push the brand in a direction where hopefully, in the next five years, we will have our own store in Soho next to the likes of Adidas and Supreme."

Reflecting on what sets the London label apart from other brands, Kyle stresses, "I’ve had loads of people say to me ‘if you just made a logo that didn't have the brand name, maybe you would appeal to a bigger market.’ But that isn’t what this is about. It’s a very difficult and hard thing to tread, doing something that has a charitable meaning but also making it something that people want to wear. I’d like to think that if you spoke to someone who bought from us at the beginning, and still orders from us now, that they'd understand that this is about really trying to stick to our core values rather than trying to be everything to everyone." 

Kyle's commitment to community support and mental health advocacy shines through the brand's initiatives. "Anyone can reach us on any of our social media platforms, Instagram being our biggest one," he explains. "We send out a weekly roundup of mental health resources and donate ten percent of our pre-tax profit to CALM, which feels hugely important."

The selection of organizations and brands for collaboration is a thoughtful process for Kyle and his team. "With CALM, for example, it was important that it was an organization that I really resonated with," Kyle shares. "At the time, CALM focused on men’s mental health, and, at the time, was the biggest charity focusing on this. The work was good in terms of resources, especially for the younger audience. There’s been loads of amazing outlets which have launched since then, one being Andy’s Man Club, but CALM was one of the first ones I reached out to when I was struggling."

Discussing a significant recent partnership, Kyle highlights, "One thing I am really proud of is that we have never had any financial backing, everything we have done is the result of hard work. We actually did a collaboration with FIFA that was really cool. The whole thing was backed by Virgil van Dijk and I’m a Liverpool fan, so when I got the DM and pitch for the proposal I didn’t even blink twice. Moments like that are things you would never think about when you start a brand."

Kyle's dedication to ethical practices in production is evident across the board. In addition to promoting charitable messaging surrounding mental health, a lot of their packaging is either recyclable or biodegradable. They don't use swing tags, and they don't use sweatshops. A lot of the work is done predominantly in the UK. "One thing I am super proud of is the fact that nothing gets thrown away," Kyle says. "We actually donate anything that doesn't get past quality control, and have previously worked with a charity called Street Angels who distribute clothes to homeless people in Charing Cross. I think it's just something a fashion brand simply wouldn't do."